janini’s lair

Strings in the Water

I’ll look after you

I’ll chase the blues
away

Hold your hand amidst
the storm

Stay with you in the
darkest hours

I’ll fix you when
you’re broken

Sew the wounds when
you’re scathed

Kiss the pain away

When it’s too
unbearable to go on

Will look for you
when you are lost

Will pull you up when
you are down

Will run for you when
you are beaten

Will cry with you
when the fire gets through

A string of words, so
fancy to the ears

A list of promises,
I’d hold dear

Found my palms stark
with blisters

As these words slid
past

I was left in turmoil

The rain washed these
promises away

And when I cleared my
eyes

You’re already miles
away from me

___________________________________________________________

 

Gathering the Light

Your scent linger on
my fingers

And a smile forms on
my lips

I write your name in
mid-air

And my eyes see hope

Your entered when
everybody

Seems to be leaving

You stayed, when I
found

myself abhorred

You hold on to what
was left of me

Hoping that somehow

I’ll find my way back

Facing you, I’m lost
in thought

A happy face could be
easy to fake

Yet you make my heart
smile for

Reasons unknown to me

Never thought
somebody

like you would come

I’m still in
perplexity for

what you saw in me

You’re too good for a
broken diamond

A diamond on a heap
of pyre,

So black it’s like
filth

Feels blessed to
still you walk with me

As I ask you to wait,

I could feel you pain
as well

Need to fix myself
and erase the pain away

Gathering the light
to cleanse from filth

If you would wait,
for me to be better

If you would wait,
for me to deserve you

_________________________________________________________________

 

A Rosier Sunshine

I rejoice in the
thought of having you

Butterflies flutter
whenever you’re around

Days go empty without
you by my side

And somehow I pray
that time would stand still

In you eyes I see the
fulfillment of my prayers

In your arms I feel
my longed sought-for refuge

The warmth of your
breath obliterates the scars

As I lay on your
shoulders the past is light years away

I lace my fingers
with yours,

and feel a sweeping
surge of bliss

With you I found a
ray of sunlight

With you the fiery
storm stops

You chase the shadows
away

And bids the rain
goodbye

You sought to hold my
hand

To heal the wounds
and blisters

Each day with you, my
being takes flight

Day by day, a myriad
of sunrays fill my soul

Wishing that the stars
would never cease to shine

Finding myself in
you, I’m no longer in solitude

Each morning is
rosier, each smile brighter

Every waking hour is
a chance to renew myself

For helping me find
the way I’m thankful

For choosing to stay
I feel blessed.

I thought that in giving everything
Happiness is an assurance
The pain I feel annihilates my very being
In the desire to keep you happy,
    I lost sight of myself.
And I thought that in doing so
    the promise of eternal bliss
    wouldn’t be compromised
I keep looking for where I went wrong
Somehow I wish you’re still here

I need to make things right
I want to hold on to what’s left of us
I yearn for more mornings with you by my side

Inside my heart a fiery storm takes abound
The tranquil meadows around me delights in my despair
My eyes flood with fire

Truly, solitary sewing my wounds
    will never be easy

Bathing in the light of anguish,
    I watch myself bleed
My scathed heart cries in pain
My beaten soul prays for healing

My arms are ready to let you go
Yet my fingers still lace around yours

Soaked in melancholy, I ask the stars why
A sudden twist of fate left me
    in my bleak solitude.
________________________________

This is gonna be the last rain you made.
The last rain that flowed from my eyes.

wala lang. ayoko magpaka mushy pero as I was viewing and grabbing pix from our college field trips last feb and march…this agonizing feeling of missing them hit me so badly. dont’ know why I didn’t feel this drama after graduating from high school. sure thing I miss my high school buds but to write a blog for such an emotion? whoa this is big. really big!

I spent four years with my college buds. they are all nice….sure there were time that they got to my throat (*hehe) but the good outweighs the bad. hate being mushy here folks…  =’(  I just miss you. Some of you are starting their new lives building a medical career, a few went to law school and some might already got a career going on for them…

Am still here, lamenting the old cherished memories…yearning to move on, desiring to relive the same memories.

college indeed has its highlights and drawbacks and you guys belong to the highlights.

’nuff said.

take care olweis po.

I am feeling very low…

My feelings and the sky are one. They are both blue.

At the end of the day I am still the loser.

No matter how hard I try I just won’t measure-up…

I end up getting smashed and everybody wants me to let go.

Indeed, this is desolating.

Letting go entails endless nights of mourning and days of abysmall pain.

I am but a beaten and weary soul, bleeding in anguish.

I tried and fell. Did everything beyond one could imagine.

Yet you still trash me.

They say that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure…

I could be an exception…

For it feels so damn rotten to be me.

Its boiling in here…

And you add more heat.

If only tears are enough to spare me from the pain.

If only writing these words are enough to erase all the memories…

I would have done so a thousand times…

Just to let go.

Let go and move on…