a cupful of melancholy
nakakalungkot.
today isn’t my day obviously.
I asked God for a divine intervention eralier…8 pa lang ang na-i-interview ko. 32 more to go (aside from the 36 children i need for the group interview)
7 ung naka sked na interviewhin ko at kahit na antok na antok pa ako e gumising ako kanina…to cut the chase, 5 declined in a very impolite way…inijan ako T_T nagpunta ako sa usapan ngunit hindi sila dumating…
could this be any harder? drama galore ako sa church…waiting for a miracle…(dear Lord, Nov.17 ang deadline ng lahat ng ito.,..huhuhuhu)
may 1 pa ngang na-wrongsend sa akin. at napagtanto kong nagsisinungaling sila na may sakit sila.
ung iba naman hindi man lang magreply na hindi sila darating.ung iba pumasok DAW sa office…kahit na nung monday pa naka sked ito…
It just hurts.
that no matter how hard I try…no matter what amount of tremendous effort (not to mention money) I put on this, something will always go wrong.
I need my comforting refuge now, where are thou?
I can no longer see reason no matter how much I want to…
they say that when a door closes, a windo opens for you…hath I been sleeping? because I don’t seem to see any window right now…
I maybe a fool for forcing myself to believe in situational attribution ryt now.
Im thinking that God must have a greater plan for me…i must see the bigger picture now…NOW.
But my vision is clouded with tears.
Ironic as it seems I tried for evry known cure to deter my depression. coffee. long walks. basking in the sun. nothing is good enuf to take my sorrows away.
I know I should not quit….I know I should not…I have a thousand reasons why i should not but heck everything in the universe is now conspiring up against me, those thousand reasons are obliterating….
