I wanna shut the world out…
I wanna shut you out of my life…
But I know I can’t. And its making me suffer.
the pain is too much to bear…
but you wouldn’t listen…
you turn the other way when I call your name…
And once more, I could feel the poisonous waters bathing me.
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happiness is very elusive.
On Fire
Switchfoot
(The Beautiful Letdown)
Tell you where you need to go
Tell you when you’ll need to leave
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you who you need to be
But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words
And you’re on fire
When He’s near you
You’re on fire
When He speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries
Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be… (near You)
Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take
When I’m on fire
When You’re near me
I’m on fire
When You speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
these mysteries…
I’m standing on the edge of me [x3]
I’m standing on the edge
And I’m on fire
When You’re near you
I’m on fire
When You speak
(Yea) I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries…
I’m standing at the edge of me,
Standing on the edge of everything I’ve ever been
And I’ve been standing at the edge of me, standing
at the edge
Haloor Santa, eto my wish list na ko Nov. pa lang ^_^
A. books na sana magkaron ako (although wula akong pera) this Christmas…
1. The Middle Sex
2. The Burning Girl
3. The Virgin Suicides
4. Sleep Pale Sister
5. My Sister’s Keeper
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B. Sana magkaron din po ako ng DVD ng ‘Only You’ nila Marissa Tomei… harhar
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C. CD ng incubus/ maroon5/ hoobastank/ D Sound/ Dicta License…
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D. pants…shoes…bag…wallet (dire need!)
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E. camfone…digicam…ipod… ^_^, rechargeable AAA batteries at charger neto…
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F. pera pang spend ng day sa salon o spa (wahehe)
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G. A night sa star city o EK
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H. Thesis.
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I. Freedom from oppression.
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J. eternal beauty and youth. evrlasting bliss.
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K. world peace. prospeity. freedom from financial woes. good health for me and everybody.
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Wengk!
(Sana magkaron na ng financial aid ang mga bata sa PGH Pedia na financially challenged.) (Sana lahat ng pamilya may Noche Buena.) ( ^_^ )
1. a single fom switchfoot…
love this track…
2. my head now feels like its on fire…
3. my heart longs for it…
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hala at absent daw ako sa first day of class… 0_o… nag RA kasi ako (reg.assistant) kanina tas my uber toxicity na pwof na pumasok at take note…sinagad niya ung class hours..wahaw..di pa nakuntento at nag attendacne pa at my quiz na daw next meeting…simply amazing.
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nawalan lang ng sense ung effort ko kanina para sa mga taong ginawan ko ng way for their enrollment. haayyy…bad trip.
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ampangit ng araw na to…nadidisorient pa ko…
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in the mood for toma na ako dapat kanina. ‘to wash my woes down’ na ang drama ng biglang magyayang umuwi ang significant part ng grupo…ngerx. anu pang point ng pag-linger kung lala na sila dun.
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ayoko nah.kapagod at anlamig pa sa bus kaniona plus tumawag pa ung tatay ko e mga 9pm pa lang naman un… ampangit talag. ganun tlg xa kapag mas nauna sya umuwi. pano na pag nagetire sya at lagi na sya sa bahay.?! pano na freedom ku? hehe
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"non-commitment"
for it does not mean that you have my kisses, that il forever be yours…
that because I seek for your presence everynow and then, my faithfulness is guaranteed…
that saying ‘i love you’ is enough to commit…
it may sound absurd…i may appear ridiculous…
sometimes love is not enough…
sometimes, things are better this way…
=) ’nuff said
wahahaha! ansaia kahapon me nang-away sa akin thru text. asawa daw nung ex-suitor koh. nakaka praning sa simula kasi mejo madami syang sinasabi at nangamba akong kailangan ko pang bumili ng bagong simcard e wala na akong pera for that. in the end tumigil din naman xa.harhar
sinungaling ung ex-suitor ko na un.dati nawalan ako ng gana upon knowing na me anak na, pewo ang sabi e di sila nagsasama nung girl..haiii….buti na lang di ako nagsabi ng totoo dun sa kanya…hahaha…false identity as in.
it was a new experience and I made it clear to her that I have no interest whatsoever with her dear ‘husband’. sabi nya din hindi sila kasal and I care no more. HUH! nakakabigla lang to be placed in a situation na ‘home wrecker’ ka sa paningin nya. hahahaha
nung una hindi ko pa nirereplyan, pero nung sinabi nyang: "o ano miss, bat hindi ka na makareply? …. blah blah blah…ako ang panalo..hahaha" aba e nireplyan ko nga ng: "Yey! Astg! Panalo ka!". hahahaha bangag din ang nakatagpo niya e.harharhar
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"I feel a materialistic and shallow urge to stop this..cant tell u the reasons for they are really shallow…u dont deserve somebody like me…I dont think I deserve somebody as selfless like you either…this isn’t going to work…this isn’t gonna last…I don’t know how to minimize the damage I will cause…Just want to be honest with you…indeed, love is not enough."
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Hunting and gathering stage lagi ang drama ng food supply sa bahay namin lately and its making me sick…lahue walang fud…di mo na ma-feel na pamilya ang kasama sa bahay.,..full of negative energy ang paligid at lagi ka pa sinisisi ng lahat. Ni hindi nila ma-appreciate ang megalicious effort mo.hindi rin sapat na maging passive ka at tahimik para tumigil sila and contemplate.everybody’s just f***ing self-centered so absorbed within their own worlds na para mailabas ang pent-up feelings e ibabash at i-annihilate ang bawat miyembro emotionally.na kahit ayaw mong manumbat e mapipilitan ka para maipamukha sa kanila na essential member ka ng ‘band’
cant breathe any longer. wish I could pop the essential resources out of thin air to get out of this wrecked hole.
idagdag pa ang megaton na gastusin sa aking thesis at enrollment. gawrk!
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stressful situations, Im in. (Yoda mode)
hmmmmmmm……… hope this day will turn out fine coz for one it didn’t in our home…
my parents jkust cleared it to me and my brother that we could both start to live our own lives…
its like no different from living in a dormitory, I must say
money matters are piling-up high and my anxieties about my thesis are drawning the life out of me.
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Its becoming a cycle nowadays. our home has been reduced to a pile of blocks housing a group of complaining individuals.
I should say that we felt trapped within opurselves…too many unfulfilled personal legends.
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stressing situations….argkh!
nakakalungkot.
today isn’t my day obviously.
I asked God for a divine intervention eralier…8 pa lang ang na-i-interview ko. 32 more to go (aside from the 36 children i need for the group interview)
7 ung naka sked na interviewhin ko at kahit na antok na antok pa ako e gumising ako kanina…to cut the chase, 5 declined in a very impolite way…inijan ako T_T nagpunta ako sa usapan ngunit hindi sila dumating…
could this be any harder? drama galore ako sa church…waiting for a miracle…(dear Lord, Nov.17 ang deadline ng lahat ng ito.,..huhuhuhu)
may 1 pa ngang na-wrongsend sa akin. at napagtanto kong nagsisinungaling sila na may sakit sila.
ung iba naman hindi man lang magreply na hindi sila darating.ung iba pumasok DAW sa office…kahit na nung monday pa naka sked ito…
It just hurts.
that no matter how hard I try…no matter what amount of tremendous effort (not to mention money) I put on this, something will always go wrong.
I need my comforting refuge now, where are thou?
I can no longer see reason no matter how much I want to…
they say that when a door closes, a windo opens for you…hath I been sleeping? because I don’t seem to see any window right now…
I maybe a fool for forcing myself to believe in situational attribution ryt now.
Im thinking that God must have a greater plan for me…i must see the bigger picture now…NOW.
But my vision is clouded with tears.
Ironic as it seems I tried for evry known cure to deter my depression. coffee. long walks. basking in the sun. nothing is good enuf to take my sorrows away.
I know I should not quit….I know I should not…I have a thousand reasons why i should not but heck everything in the universe is now conspiring up against me, those thousand reasons are obliterating….
