ayoko na po talaga…
I missed my departmental exams yesterday in socio 114. My friends saw how depressed and crushed I was. It was one of the deepest and darkest days of my life. My professor dismissed my excuse of illness. She told anne that my excuse was unreasonable. Marbie told me that it was indeed unreasonable. It just added to the ordeal I was experiencing. Up to now, there are still no concrete solutions on what’s going to happen… It just really frustrates me. Because aside from suffering for days because of that stupid constipation occurence, I missed my exam in which I prepared somehow, I also was not able to submit my term paper on time. The emotional turmoil reached farther, I just cannot seem to pull myself together to finish my paper although it was due yesterday. I cannot even force myself to review for tomorrow’s exams (same prof.) although there are TONS of stuffs to read!
I do not want to go home either because my parents knew what transpired and they were not really happy about it.
Im just pissed you know. Im so tired, with all these toxicity in school, plus your parents putting so much pressure upon you to graduate…I just cant take it anymore. I dont know what’s wrong but I just cant stand the thought of my classmates–all smiling–because they were not going through the same problems.
note: my professor do not give special exams, a matter I just learned this morning.
Yesterday, as I was in the bathroom, I stared long and hard at the shaver. I thought what would happen if I just stop everything right there and then? I guess I really am a coward for I cant even summon the ccourage to end everything…
